CrossCrimson

Hanging from a wire Over this raging fire Numbing from this slow burn Ever since I was born Memories of pain All my brain can retain Tugging at the wire Wanting to burn in the fire Echoing screams of those before me The ones who set themselves free To this torture I’m bound Yet still I try not to make a sound Hot ash scars my skin Where eyes settle from friends and kin Being strangled by this wire Over this blazing fire Barely breathing anymore My lungs getting so sore Just watch me suffer

You all may not know I have a big heart, But what comes with it is a lot of hurt, One that keeps on getting me burnt. Trust me, I didn't choose this path, To be such an empath, For living is such a task. I try to try, So those living won't cry, Even though most say goodbye. My heart weighs me down, Just like a rock that's a 1,000 pounds, How silly I know this sounds. I suppose this will last forever, To abandon others, God knows I will never, But will i be ever?

Love is such a precious thing, Love can also be terrible, It can make you want to sing, Or it can hurt you like nothing comparable. They say money makes the world go round, Does that make sense? Shouldn't love make it go round? Not paper that divides up like a fence. I've always had an open heart, But others are never the same, I can always get them to start, Only they feel it should be tamed. My advice is simple, Be open but skeptical, Like a thumb and thimble, Hurt may not come but protected so masterful.

Riddled with these bullets no one can see, Everyone wonders what's this pain in me, Just close your eyes and let me be. Give me all the pain, Your words are no worse than a train, Your silence like screams in my brain. They say I'm insane in my ways, Yet I haven't lived long enough to maintain, But whatever I suppose I can't complain. Fuck this world that thinks war is the way, Killin each other like your humanity would stay, Remember our animal selves are just at bay. I'll sit here with a smile on my face, Blood running down my wrist all over the place, But still laughing at all who think I'm ok.

My heart is so scared, because it's so scared and bare Don't you dare, don't you dare say you care. All the pain, all the pain from these feelings contained Was I to blame? Because you said my mind was a tragic game. Fuck the confusion, all this is giving me a contusion Happy and sad now just a fusion, everything now seeming like an illusion. These tears are real, but am I the only one who feels? On my knees I must kneel, because my heart just peels. I can't do this, death looks like such a bliss, Give life a goodbye kiss, really all this I will not miss.

My heart aches and breaks, Some may say it's fake, But they don't feel they way I feel, for fuck's sake. I could sit and cry, Cut as I watch the world go by, Jump off a building to finally commit suicide. I see you all here, But not physically here, The only place I need you near. My heart aches and breaks, Pieces of my soul they take, All because they know I'm not awake. I won't shed a tear, Won't spill blood here, Won't jump because of fear. My eyes blind making my world bleak, Numb to touch but still I'll seek, Wandering around but refuse to seem weak.

I've never had the right words, Like a baby babbling for milk, Just a cry and whine, You all stare confused. I can't understand myself either, Like my mind is a foreign language, One too old or new to decipher, God it just kills me. I've just given in, Force you to too, Maybe no one will ever know, Take it with me to my grave. Bury me with my confusion, My disgusting disaster, My tears that refuse to dry, Forever I may be a mystery.

I may not be able to be soothed, Of this sadness and pain, No, my heart can't be moved, Like what they say about old dogs and being trained Love is my medication, One I can't live without, Dying is my deep temptation, One I can't throw out. I hope you can see me, Although I can't bare to hold my breath, Time can be mean you see, But it's ok as this won't be my death. I'm a fragile rose, One that wilts as the wind blows, Yet still I stand even after stomping toes, Stay here looking broken but composed. This pain kills me, This love is bittersweet, Because death calls to me, Home is where I must be.